How to be a good client

Ever have one of those days when you wished you could fire a client?

Many years ago, when I was working retail at a one hour photo lab (I'm really dating myself now, aren't I?), I had my first instance of wanting to kick a customer where it counts. I can't remember what the issue was, but suffice to say I was close to tears by the time he had finished loudly berating me in front of everyone else in the store, coworkers and other customers alike. My manager calmly walked up to the counter and said, "We won't charge you for your order. Now please leave and don't come back again. I won't have you speaking to my staff like that."

I was in awe. "Can my manager really do that?" I wondered to myself. He did. And the business thrived under his management. He cared about his staff and it showed in our performance.

Sorry, tangent. My point is, do you want to be that client? Because a good business person, whether a retail manager, a freelance creative, or an agency president will fire a bad client if they need to. Yes, the economy stinks. But a good business person knows that their sanity and that of their staff (and perhaps their family, in the case of the freelancer) isn't worth it.

Isn't being tough a good thing?
While you may think being difficult is the best way to get what you want, often it stalls and outright derails projects. I'm not talking about being a strong, colourful character who brings ideas to the table. I'm talking about the know-it-alls, the argumentative, the time wasters, and the "Let's yell at the administrator because I'm having a shitty day," kind of client.

In short, good clients enable the experts they have contracted to get things done. Here's how you can be a good client.

1. Commit your time to the project.
You would think that if an individual or a company is ready to pay a professional the big bucks, they would be equally willing to commit their time. Yes, delegating time to your staff is fine, that's what they get paid for, right? But in the end, if you're the business owner, it's your baby. You need to be there for the important meetings. You need to look at every item you approve. Otherwise, you run the risk of discovering something is missing, or worse yet, wrong, when it's too late.

2. Be prepared for our first meeting.
You know your business best. I need to know what your pains are, what your objectives are, and what your clients want. This way, we can all work together to eliminate those nasty pains, and see where your objectives and your client's objectives overlap. That gives us an excellent starting point. Being unprepared simply wastes time. And the adage that time is money is true for both of us.

3. Answer my questions.
I swear, I am not calling you or emailing you questions after our meeting to make your life difficult or because I'm exceedingly lonely. I want to get the job done, and get it done right. And if I keep asking you the same question in different ways? It's because you didn't answer it when I first asked it! When you refuse to answer my questions because you're busy, or because you assume I should know the answer already, it does nothing to move the project forward. And it puts me in a negative frame of mind. Remember, you're paying me to do a job!

4. Remember that sometimes, mistakes happen.
As much as I wish it wasn't the case, shit happens sometimes. I'm a perfectionist when it comes to my work, so believe me when I say it probably hurts me more than it hurts you when I make a mistake. Yes, I'll take my lumps, but there's no need to berate me, much less take it out on someone who isn't to blame, like the office manager, or my colleague if I'm away on the particular day you call. Let me know you're disappointed, but let me know how I can fix the problem and I guarantee you, I will go above and beyond to make you happy. You may even forget about the mistake that made you so angry to begin with.

5. Admit when you are wrong.
Yeah, I know, this is hard for many of us in our personal lives, much less our professional lives. A creative friend actually inspired today's post with a Facebook status about a client, a real estate agent who wanted an open house ad, and forgot to give the team an address. Kind of critical to having an open house, no? Anyway, instead of apologizing when called by the agency, the client screamed, yelled, bitched, moaned, and, get this, said the address wasn't necessary. Yes, you read that correctly. Admit you're wrong and move on.

Creatives and clients alike: any suggestions on other qualities that make for a good client?

Complaining with authority

Over the holidays, the topic of writing letters of complaint came up a couple of times. In fact, I told a friend who had to write such a letter that we should start a business writing effective complaints.

Another friend noted that in many cases, the act of letter-writing can be cathartic, so offering a service such as the one I half-jokingly suggested may remove the therapeutic impact writing an angry letter can have. Which is a good point. However, catharsis often comes with writing a letter in anger - in other words, it's a way to let off steam. While it can be good for the spirit of the writer, the result is usually a letter that needs to be destroyed. If sent, it could do unintended harm to the writer him or herself.

So, is there a way to write a complaint so that it unleashes the anger in a witty, effective manner? Absolutely. I was faced with such a task last year during an ongoing pissing match with a neighbour. After months of hearing her pound on the floors and walls, she thoughtfully left the passive-aggressive letter you'll see above at our door. Though addressed to my husband, it was really a rant against my entire family. I've posted it here to give you an example of what not to do. And for your amusement.

When I read her diatribe and noted the many factual errors she made, Bugs Bunny's oft-used phrase, "This means war," sprung to mind. And in addition to making mistakes in her note, she gave me the ammunition needed to write the letter of all letters to my building manager.

As I put together my own letter (I'll simply include excerpts here for the sake of brevity), I kept a few points in mind.

Don't rant
I had already done my fair share of ranting with my friends after receiving the note. As fun as ranting can be, I knew that in order to get anywhere with my complaint to my building manager and see results, I had to keep my rage in check. The last thing I needed was for my landlord to see me as the aggressor and worse, a threat to other tenants. So instead of saying, "This bitch is crazy!" I simply stated, "We are being harassed continuously to the point that we feel we are unable to enjoy our space without anxiety."

Get your facts straight
Like I said, the battle with our neighbour had been going on for quite some time. I had previously written to our building manager, so I cited those letters. Also, the night she left her note at our doorstep, we happened to have friends over, including a lawyer and editor, both who were very familiar with landlord/tenant laws in our area. They suggested I look up the laws and cite them accordingly. In turn, the building manager cited the facts I included in my complaint in her own letter to our neighbour as follows: 28(b) states that tenants are to have “freedom from unreasonable disturbance”
47(1)(i) states that if a tenant has “significantly interfered with or unreasonably disturbed another occupant” that they may have his or her tenancy terminated.

I took the opportunity to also correct the incorrect statement that children aren't allowed in our building and remind our manager of our history in the building: X made several inaccurate points in her letter, the most offensive being that it is illegal for us to live here with our son. Nowhere in our lease does it state that children are not allowed in the building. In fact, it is illegal to bar someone from living in a building based on their having children unless it is a building for seniors only. When I was pregnant, we advised you of our situation. Clearly, if you had concerns with our having a child here, you would have told us.

Anticipate the rebuttal
I knew the rebuttal from my neighbour would be that the noise we made in our home was excessive. So before writing my letter, I confirmed with friends that if needed, they would write their own letters supporting my version of events. Know what the likely argument against your own will be and include points to refute it in advance.

Doing the above, I got what I wanted. The neighbour was sent a notice to cease harassing my family as she was in violation of her lease. In other words, quit it or you'll be looking for a new home. She's been sweet as pie since then. I still can't stand her, but hey, the stomping and nasty notes have stopped.